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Thursday, 16 July 2015

Who Needs a BFF Anyway?

I remember when I was a little girl in the playground at school. Back then, the game of Kiss Chase was all the rage. I think you get the idea: the boys chase the girls and try to kiss them. Sometimes it was the other way round but my school wasn't that progressive. In our playground there were no iPads, pods, or games to be played on a mobile phone. No. We made our own fun back then and who better to have fun with than your best friend. Mine was called Gillian Cackett (and no, I didn't make that up). She had long fair hair and when it was story time she used to insist that I sit behind her and check her ribbons, hair slides, bows or clips were all in place.

I didn't have a problem doing that; Gillian was my best friend. I'd do anything for her. I got my mum to buy me the same poncho Gillian had and begged her to do my hair just like Gillian.

Only problem was, I was no Gillian Cackett. And that was proven to be the case when the Kiss Chase games were under way and all the boys chased Gillian and no one chased me. She would run up to me with red cheeks, out of breath from being chased, swing her long hair off her shoulders and pant, “This is fun!” I would nod in agreement although I hadn't moved once from my spot by the hopscotch; I just stood there, waiting for someone to chase and kiss me.

Needless to say when I went home I'd sob into my pillow because I wanted to be Gillian Cackett – the girl who got chased.

Luckily, I came into my own as I got older. I wasn't bad looking and I met lots of guys who wanted to kiss me. I never saw Gillian after leaving that school but I got other friends along the way. Good friends. Friends I could call a BFF.

Then a strange thing happened. I never seemed to be able to hold on to a BFF for good. There was no 'Forever' in any of the friendships I made with another female. Something would happen and the first 'B' in BFF stopped being true and the 'F' at the end dropped off entirely. And very soon we weren't even the 'F' in the middle!

I sat and pondered this a long time. What changed in the friendship? What went wrong? How could someone go from being a BFF one day to being just a few memories in your diary the next?

The simple answer was boyfriends. Boyfriends seemed to ruin the friendship between me and many a potential BFF. Somehow, as soon as I or my BFF got a boyfriend, our wonderful friendship became a terrible shambles. I know it didn't only happen to me and I'm sure you or someone you know had similar failed friendships. These are stories I've heard time after time. Very sad indeed.

Experience has told me that such things as insecurity and jealousy can put any relationship in jeopardy. That's why when I wrote, Sleeping With Your Best Friend. I wanted to explore what could happen between two female best friends when they both got boyfriends and to examine the possible ways that a beautiful friendship could turn to tears.

I have to say at this point that Sleeping With Your Best Friend is a complete work of fiction. Nothing that Lori or Julia did ever happened to me or any of the friends I have now or have had. I feel like I need to repeat that but I'm sure you believe me.

I'm a lot older than the un-kissable ten year old I used to be. I've gotten lots of kisses and best of all I have BFF. Hooray! She was my BFF before and after I got married and I now have two children. And, guess what? She is still my friend. We can talk about anything and everything. We can also not talk for ages and get together for coffee and a cake and carry on as if there hadn't been a gap. That's what I call a real BFF.

And, just in case my husband reads this – you are my BFF too, darling but with the added bonus of being my soul mate. So, in answer to the question, Who Needs A BFF Anyway? My answer is, I do and I consider myself lucky to have one.

Sleeping With Your Best Friend is now available at the following:

Amazon UK 
Amazon US 

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